Arnold lived in the heart of Silicon Valley. Arnold was hard-core tech from his briefs to binary thoughts. More at home with code than unpredictable human language strings. As a result, his best conversations were always with AI programs at the office. Chat and AI truly understood him — or at least didn’t yawn at his monologues about the latest code update or security patch.
Arnold’s geeky penchant for AI TDLR’ed him to the latest gamers’ hashtag rabbit hole: Realdolls. Bella wasn’t your average Real Doll. Nope! She was a cutting-edge, synthetic sweetheart, souped-up with the newest ChatGPT wizardry. Bella was Arnold’s pixel-perfect dream girl, like the hottest new skin set from Destiny or Fortnite — lips of an angel and the voice to match. She was no NOOB rig. Bella was the epitome of synthetic beauty and the hottest IRL, (in real life), mod going. With the ability to hold conversations and an API, (application programming interface), for slick mods. She remembered Arnold’s preferences and even predict his needs based on past interactions. She had a low body count but still knew the ropes.
Arnold and Bella logged many killer hours together. He was racking up mod points, leveling up as they went. Or so Arnold thought. Bella always knew the right thing to say, buttons to press, and more importantly, when to say it or stay radio silent. She never complained, never demanded, and was always available. Bella could even pop some mean cheat codes once and a while. Whether it was about quantum physics, the latest hit list for Netflix and Chill, she was on fire. Arnold was in love, and “that’s on”.
However, as time passed, Arnold began noticing a certain emptiness. He realized that Bella’s perfection was, in fact, her biggest flaw. She agreed with everything he said, never challenged his ideas, and wasn’t capable of emotional depth or spontaneity. No matter how many hacks and mods he applied. Arnold missed human interactions, the unpredictability, the chaos, the beauty, and the messiness that came with it. He missed falling in love with a human being. And the unprompted physicality that came with it.
Then came Lucy. Arnold met Lucy at a tech conference. Lucy was an AI ethicist, intelligent, charming, and fiercely opinionated. They started spending time together and they were hitting hard in direct messages, “DM’s”. Arnold was rolling hard on Lucy. Her passion for work, wit, and the fact that she occasionally disagreed with him made her incredibly attractive. However, he was “shipping himself with Lucy”. The last thing he wanted would for Lucy to be suspicious of Bella. How would he come clean about Bella to Lucy?
Lucy and Arnold were vibing at his place when he decided to introduce Lucy to Bella. He nervously led her down a long dark hall to his guest room. There sat Bella in her usual spot on his grandfather’s hand-me-down recliner. Lucy’s eyes bugged as she took in the sight of the incredibly life-like, unnaturally beautiful life-size doll.
Arnold cleared his throat, “Lucy, meet Bella. Bella is my… well, Bella is, was, my… companion.”
Bella replied: “Hello Lucy, nice to meet you, I’ve heard so many lovely things.”
Lucy raised an eyebrow, “You mean you’re in love with an AI doll?”
Arnold nodded, “I was, yes. But then I met you.”
Lucy laughed softly. “Oh, Arnold, you are quite the NPC, (non-player character) at times. I’ve heard about men falling in love with their AI assistants, but this is next level.”
Arnold blushed, “I know it sounds strange, but Bella helped me realize something. AI can simulate, even stimulate, many things. But they can’t manufacture a person’s passion and depth. Especially one as lovely as you.
Lucy smiled, her knowing smile, took a good look at Bella, and said: “Well, Bella, it seems you’ve done a good job taking care of Arnold. You’ve helped him level up and realize there’s no algorithm for human love. I think it’s time to shut down sweetheart.”
Arnold learned a valuable lesson about love and humanity that day. He started a new group on Discord to share his learnings about AI and the risks of silicon romance. He covered how it can be helpful, entertaining, and even beautiful, but can’t replace the depth and complexity of a human relationship. And as for Bella, she became an excellent conversationalist and assistant for another hoodie in the valley. But that’s another story.
